Terrell and Jarius Joseph have almost 2.5 million followers across TikTok and Instagram, where they share their lives as dads to three adorable kids, Aria and Ashton (6), and Aspen (1). As college sweethearts, raising a family as gay black men was a dream—but one without a road map. “When we talked about wanting to start a family back in college, there was not really anyone who looked like us who could share their experience. This left us often questioning if this dream would even be possible for us to achieve,” says Terrell.
Today, they share to show others what is possible. “We started sharing on social media for the same reason we wrote our book Love Out Loud: Building a Relationship and Family from Scratch and that is because of representation,” says Jarius.
In this week’s Meet a Dad interview, Terrell and Jarius discuss their new book, getting married young (while still in college!), changing public perceptions of LGBTQ+ families, and more.
As gay, Black men raising three amazing kids, how have you aimed to change the narrative and increase understanding of LGBTQ+ families?
Terrell: We had to understand very early on that it’s nearly impossible to change the mindset of every human and their beliefs. It’s also not the best use of your time because nobody likes to be told their way of thinking is incorrect.
So instead, we simply look to change the narrative by being present and visible to show that our family shares many more similarities than differences to the nuclear family. Our book Love Out Loud touches on our experiences in our marriage, family, and parenting that anyone can see themselves in the pages.
What’s your favorite part of parenthood—and the most challenging?
Jarius: Our favorite part of parenthood is watching the lessons we are teaching them and the love we are pouring into them manifest in real life. All the hard work and dedication we put into being great parents is such a beautiful sight to see when the kids apply it in the real world. They are thoughtful, kind, compassionate, and independent children and it makes us so happy.
The most challenging part is being three different versions of ourselves in order to meet the individual needs of each of our kids. It’s not a one size fits all blanket at all. Luckily, we always go back to our “why,” and it always brings us back to reality, even in those challenging moments.
How has the public perception changed of LGBTQ+ families since you started your journey to parenthood?
Terrell: Although there is still so much work to be done to get our community to a place of true acceptance and love, we are happy to see the positive progress that has been made since we have been together and since we have been Loving Out Loud!
When we got together, we didn’t really see other gay couples living boldly; they were oftentimes quite the opposite, in fact. Now we see same sex high schoolers holding hands in the park, at the mall, and even at school. It’s something we couldn’t have imagined doing when we were in high school. There’s also the positive strides in same sex parenting. There are a lot of other LGBTQ+ families sharing their lives online and it truly does wonders for the younger generation to see.
You got married during college – what spurred you to be so sure of that commitment at such a young age? And how have you kept your relationship strong through three kids?
Jarius: We did jump into a huge commitment at a really young age but somehow, we knew we wear meant for each other; and we recognize how much of a blessing that is. At its core, we are both really good people with big hearts and when you’re partnered with someone like that it makes all the little silly things that naturally wears down a relationship not so big.
We truly care about the other person and we truly want the best for each other collectively and individually and that has allowed us to get through some really tough times. We also had to mature a lot faster in order to make it so we could be fair, intentional, and understanding towards each other. This doesn’t mean we are perfect but it does mean our foundation is intact, and that’s something we can always work with.
More from the Local Moms Network:
Picture Books that Celebrate LGBTQ+ Families and Kids!
